How to make time and more lessons from sabbatical
Geoff, my (now) husband and I had talked about taking time off for years but something always got in the way, from the typical “too stressed to think about it” to a new job opportunity that I “just couldn’t pass up”. It was in 2016 that we made a promise to each other: no matter what, we would quit in Summer 2018.
When the time came, I jumped into the abyss of unemployment. The sudden lack of structure meant I quickly filled my time with anything and everything. I felt as if I was constantly climbing uphill, trying to prove to society (but more so, to myself) that I was still relevant and that I still had worth. Really, though, all I was doing was playing into the same bad habits of over-commitment, over-work, and not living with intention.
Slowing down, saying “no”, and focusing my efforts were the key principles of my past year. I used them to guide myself, my relationship with the world around me, and how I spent my time. By applying them each day, I gained perspective and slowly carved out a golden path for my life.
Looking back from when it all began, it’s easy to see how far I have come. In the beginning, I wasn’t so sure where a year would take me, but I knew I had to start with one question…
How do I define myself (without my career)?
For as long as I can remember, I had always defined myself through my work. First with school, then with my job, being good at work gave me a sense of pride, accomplishment, and progress. When this structure was removed, I no longer knew how to describe or quantify myself.
I believe that Product Management is a role that goes beyond the confines of the workplace. To learn how to be an effective PM, is to learn how to be an effective person in the world. It teaches you to analyze, prioritize, and execute. I no longer knew who I was without work, but I did know how to be a PM, and so I started my journey the only way I knew how — with precision questioning.
What qualities/traits describe you? How would others describe you?
Who and where do you want to be in 1 month? 10 months? 10 years? What skills do you want to have?
What does success look like?
With answers to these questions, I set goals and created a ‘backlog’ of projects to help me develop in the ways outlined. Then, and most importantly, I started checking-in with myself each week, writing a retro of the previous and planning out what I wanted to achieve in the next.
Insights from a year of “me-time”
When deciding which projects to do each week, I considered three criteria:
Does it help me learn (or reinforce) a skill I want to improve?
Does it bring me happiness?
Does it challenge me?
These are the key lessons and projects from my past year. My other blog articles go into more detail, which I encourage you to read if you want to learn more.
I defined myself as a builder. Whether in the digital or the physical space, I love the process of designing, refining, and creating, and I am happiest when bringing people together to build awesome things together. This year, I renovated my friend’s music practice space and my personal balcony. I made countless repairs in my condo from replacing sinks to fixing broken sockets. I organized the third annual Chelanfest, an arts festival for friends, by friends, with 80+ attendees. And most significantly, I modded our new car to design, then build, a custom bed with storage underneath so we could travel across the United States. More on that here.
I (re)found my artistic side. Somewhere in the last decade, I lost my passion for art because I defined myself in a way that made art ‘impractical’. With endless time, I challenged that assumption, and drew for the first time in years. I used Photoshop to create a poster for Lummi Lummi — a micro music festival I organize each year. I started taking photos again. Most surprisingly, I felt pride, for the first time in a long time, in the things I was creating.
I set myself up for future success. I reorganized my life, both digitally and physically. I built documents and spreadsheets to organize and take action on my health, my finances, and my ideas. I constantly questioned how I could “lower the barrier of entry”, then I solved those problems. I Marie-Kondo’d my life several times to distill it down to the most important parts.
I did things that scared me. I climbed mountains I didn’t think I could conquer, I rappelled down waterfalls into water I didn’t think I could swim through, I sang and strummed a three-song solo set in front of 50+ people, I took a 10-week French class….I learned that I can achieve much more than I think I can, and that my ability to confront my fears is what makes me strong.
I spent time with family and friends, something I never felt like I had enough time for. I helped my niece take her first steps and saw the world through her eyes. I ate my way across Croatia, Italy, and France, walked along the Rhine in Germany, adventured through New Zealand, and went home to Virginia for the first time in 6 years. I “showed up”, for the first time in a long time, because I could focus on the people, instead of my stress.
I married my best friend in a small, intimate ceremony with just our immediate families. I built all the decorations. We gave each other rings that we designed ourselves and then we went to Boston to throw a big party with family and friends we hadn’t seen in years.
How to (continue to) make time
Now, my year of adventure is coming to an end, and my focus is to apply the lessons and inner peace I’ve learned this year to my every day. These are the strategies that I am using to do this:
Plan your life weekly, both for yourself and with your partner (if applicable). With this, you can gain control over your schedule and your time. You can be more flexible and make better decisions in the chaos of the day, because you have a broader perspective of your life and you in it. Use it as a time to reflect and write about your last week. Read past retrospectives when you plan out your next one in order to gain a longer term view. Make this a ritual and find the joy in it.
Remove yourself from the everyday to up-level your perspective. This could be scheduling an evening to reflect and spend time on yourself, or spending the weekend camping in the wilderness. Whatever it is, lower the barrier to entry. When you need it the most, you often don’t have the energy or foresight to do it.
Make yourself uncomfortable by constantly challenging yourself in something new. Not only does this help you learn and deepen your skills, but through it, you can find humility and a deeper perspective. DO celebrate every little success in these uncomfortable situations. Showing up is hard and just participating can mean success. Baby steps - you’re a brave warrior facing your fears.
And finally, take time to breathe. Stretch these seconds to find calmness and peace within. Observe the world around you and find beauty in it. Rediscover and show appreciation to your inner self.