Celebrating our lives, our way
Photo credit Sarah Jane Photography
Growing up, I never thought about My wedding. I never dreamed of being a princess, or how it would feel walking down the aisle. I didn’t even know what should happen during the ceremony. But when Geoff and I decided to get married, I did know one thing — that I wanted to celebrate it authentically us.
Carve your own path
I’ll admit it. When we first started planning the wedding, I immediately went the safe, more traditional route. I consulted my sister who pointed me towards some resources and I started going through checklists. The guestlist quickly became a daunting and overwhelming task — my mom is one of 10 and my dad is one of 8, and of course, all the siblings must be invited. Then, of course, we had to add in Geoff’s side and all our friends.
I was spinning my wheels, pouring time into curating the guestlist, assigning priorities and fretting about who would be excluded. I spent so much time worrying about it, that I wasn’t even enjoying our current adventure, much less wedding planning. It consumed me.
Fed up with myself, something had to change. I went back to the beginning and challenged some of my initial assumptions.
What are the minimum requirements?
What does success look like?
What are we prioritizing?
What resources do we have available?
Very soon, it became clear that a traditional wedding was misaligned with our goals. For us, success was creating moments together with our loved ones. We wanted to prioritize spending time, and lucky for us, we were rich in time.
A Three-Party Approach
We celebrated our marriage through many small celebrations, scoped and customized to different audiences.
The ceremony came first, and it would happen at a cabin in the woods. Only the immediate family would be invited — 10 people total (and a baby). We would spend a weekend together cooking, playing games, and sharing this experience together. The day of the ceremony, we would have a photographer, but only for a few hours, and a private chef, so we didn’t have stress about preparing food.
The reception would happen a few weeks later in Boston, at Geoff’s mom’s house. It was convenient for both sides of our families, and my mother-in-law was well prepared. Each year, she throws a crawfish party with 100+ invitees to experience New Orleans culture. We wanted a similar vibe: a giant backyard party of old and new friends, that just happened to exist because of a wedding.
The friend’s retreat would happen later in the year. It would be a time when all our friends, from our childhood to now, could enjoy a weekend together. This would feel very similar to the ceremony weekend, but no wedding and much more pranks.
Along with these celebrations, we decided to forgo engagement rings, instead designing our own wedding bands. We found a lovely shop in Pike Place called Goldmine Design and worked together with a jeweler for 2 months.
Even my most dreaded task, finding a wedding dress, was made easy when I found the non-profit Brides for a Cause. They sell second-hand wedding dresses and donate their proceeds to women-focused non-profits.
The result? Memories for a lifetime.
So far, we’ve held our ceremony and our reception. They both exceeded our wildest expectations. The ceremony was a beautiful weekend full of laughter, love, and vulnerability. The reception was a blast and brought together people who hadn’t seen each other in years. We wouldn’t change anything about them.
Most of all, Geoff and I were able to celebrate this important step in our lives, our way.
P.S. If you’re a spreadsheet lover like me and want a killer template for planning your own celebration, contact me!